Friday, September 14, 2012

"I have confidence in sunshine"

On my ride to work today I started thinking about being perfect and what it takes to be a perfect person. I know that all of you have met or seen that girl or guy and have said to yourself or a friend "oh my gosh I hate that person she's just so perfect" Or "how does some one get to be that perfect?" Well, first off I want to say Good for that person for being perfect in the eyes of some one else, because that's everybody's goal right? People want to be that girl or guy that every body says is perfect. Well news flash that person is not perfect in every body's eyes heck they may not even be perfect in their own eyes, because the idea of perfection is different to every person. Think about all the books you read in middle and high school about trying to create Utopia's, they never worked out right? That's because there is no generic Utopia that fits what every body dreams about. What may be perfect to one person may be completely heinous to another. Before trying to be perfect you must understand this idea. You will never be considered perfect to every single person that you meet, but that's okay as long as you are happy with the person that you are, you are perfect. 

I've spent a majority of my life being unhappy with myself, not just the way I look, but my actual self. I wished that I was smarter so I could do better in school, I wished I was more social and could have more friends, I wished I was thinner and could be a size two. There are many things I wished I was that I just wasn't. I spent my life from age 12 to age 23 being completely unhappy with who I was and wishing I was somebody that was impossible to be. Finally one day I woke up and realized that I'm not ever going to be what society considers being "perfect", but I could be what I consider perfect.

 My first problem to overcome was my self image. I was dying to be a size two when I needed to realize that the way my body is built I will never be a size two. Not even if I starved myself for a year would I be a size two, because I tried that when I was 15 and the lowest size I got was a size 5 in juniors (or 4 in adults). 

This is a picture from my senior year in high school I was a size 6. I still thought I was fat, because of what my pants size said never actually looking at the mirror at what my body actually looked like. 

Let's flash forward a couple years to my sophomore year in college....

Here I am a size 8. I remember being so nervous about wearing that costume, because I thought I looked morbidly obese. I look at it now and think "ummm what the hell was wrong with you??" I wasn't actually looking at my self I was looking at the size of my pants and thinking about the fact that my hips were 40 inches around. Instead of seeing myself in the mirror I saw what society claimed was supposed to be a size 8. 

All those years it never occurred to me that my body would just never look like Megan Fox's or other stick thin celebrities, I'm not built that way. My body has natural curves, my hips will never be smaller than 38 inches around, and I will never again be smaller than a size 6. I had to come to this realization before deciding what I wanted to look like as a person. 

The second problem to defeat is being unhappy with who I am. I've always wished I was smarter, had more friends, and was funnier. You know what some of those things I just can't be. So I'm not the next Einstein and no I didn't get all A's in college, but I did try my hardest and I did graduate with a B average and I'm happy with that now. I could make more friends if I could get over my shyness and be more outgoing, but it's okay if I don't, eventually I will meet people who I will get along with, who like me for me, and think I'm perfect the way I am, and that's fine by me. 

A major step in your journey to your own personal perfection (I want to emphasize that, you will never be perfect to everybody, but you can be perfect to yourself.) is having confidence in yourself. This is HUGE when it comes to how others see you. I'm sure that sounds cliche, but it's the God's honest truth. If you don't have confidence in yourself others will see that and it will be harder for them to see you for who you really are. I want to share with you two stories about how having confidence actually works.

I had a friend back in college who had a very low self esteem. He was always upset that when he went to parties girls never seemed to notice him. Finally, I said "well of course they aren't going to notice you you walk around the party like you're the ugliest kid there, because you think you are." We were headed to a party that night and I said to him "look just for a night try to be confident in yourself, go to that party and walk into it like you are the hottest guy there and that every girl should want to be on your arm...Don't be cocky about it, but be confident and I guarantee you by the end of the night you will have a girl on your arms." Sure enough at the end of the night he had two gorgeous girls hanging off of him and following him around. It was fantastic, I had never seen him so happy. 

Another time, I knew a guy who would always say that having confidence is the sexiest attribute a girl could have. He told me how he was working at a store once when three girls walked in. Two of the girls were very pretty but kept their shoulders low and their heads down, while the third girl who was a little overweight and not as attractive as the other two walked in with her head held high and her shoulders back. He said how every guy at the store only noticed the one confident girl and didn't even remember the other two. 

These things just go to show you how important confidence is. Be ware of cockiness though. I love this quote by Mila Kunis...

This quote just perfectly describes what this post is about. You have to know who you are, realize that some goals are just unattainable, be happy with the person that you are, and you will be perfect in your own eyes and even perfect in the eyes of some others.

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